I Like it Like That

Colors In My Dream

2008-07-03T19:29:00.001-07:00

I had a wierd dream. It involves an actor and 2 actresses. It sounded english, british english. A magazine, the likes of TIME or NEWSWEEK. In the dream, I am about to answer few questions in the magazine, I flipped over a page where there was an image of a woman covered with grass and leaves, it was like one of the sculptures of edward scissorhands, looking up on the sky and her arms are folded and hands almost touching her head, she was like shampooing herself, then there were purple lilies surrounding her, but it felt like fairies flying around her. I also remembered spilling the words 40km/hour. Saw a drawing of a hummer, the car, and another car which I couldn't remember, telling the actor that he was the happiest everytime he's drawing those cars or answer that particular section of the magazine. It also sounded as if we are solving a physics question, because it involves velocity (40km/ hour). It's wierd and it felt wierd when I woke up. The dream lasted gradually, it's as if I had to do something that I need to execute today since I woke up 9:30 am, pretty early for me and the weather is so great that makes one wants to lie further. The last scene was the fairy. It felt blank but I know that's the end of my dream. I googled the dream and this is what I found out. Beige Everything related with this color denotes neutrality and detachment. There is absence of communication. Black Black signifies isolation and transition period. It shows up conflicts and friction with relations and friends. Blue This dream denotes a great source of inner peace and a symbol of contentment. Brown This is an auspicious color to dream about:signifies freedom, success, money and happy and long-lasting union. Gray Related with a transition period. If clear signifies peace but if dull signifies, fear. Green Growth and serenity. There are projects which you are enthusiastic about. Great pleasures from simple things. Orange The color orange in dreams indicates passion in every aspect of your life. Pink Associated with tenderness and love. You can expect interesting developments in relations with opposite sex. Purple Great aspirations and understanding of visible and invisible realms. Take advantage of your creativity. Red This is an indication of great passion and sensitivity in your emotional relationships. Turquoise Normally indicates new opportunities and the successful completion of projects. Sign of good luck. White People feel they can rely on you. You have an abundance of energy and vitality. Yellow This color is a sign of confidence in yourself and your abilities but will encounter opposition. Fairy Dream Meaning Psychological Meaning: Fairy stories are full of rich psychological symbolism and the telling of them can help children and adults express their innermost fears and hopes. For a man a fairy may symbolise the female aspect of his personality that can be integrated for better psychic balance. Similarly, for a woman a fairy may represent either her femininity or her motherly side. Mystical Meaning: Some cultures believe that fairies are real beings that tend and direct the powers of nature. The Findhorn organisation call them Devas and may have proved their existence by demonstrating that barren land can be made to bloom by calling for their help. In our dreams, we may actually communicate with these elemental powers. Garden Dream Meaning Psychological Meaning: A garden is a promising dream symbol that may show inner growth and stability. Sometimes dream gardens are symmetrical with a central point. This mandala symbol represents the inner wholeness of your true self. Pools, water and fountains show the pure spiritual energies that constitute your nature. This dream may indicate inner healing after a period of discord and unease. Mystical Meaning: Some sources claim that to dream of a garden foretells a marriage to a very beautiful woman or a handsome man Car Dream Meaning Psychological Meaning: Surprisingly, Freud believed that the smooth motion of a car was not a symbol of sexual wish-fulfilment. Instead, it represented the progress of psychoanalysis. A car is most likely to represent yourself and your ability to control your life. Are you a good driver in your dream? If so, you may also be steering the right course in life. However, if you drive badly or have an accident then your unconscious may be warning you that you are making mistakes. You may be driving yourself too hard and heading for an emotional crash. Maybe someone else is driving the car? You may feel that this person, or the qualities they represent, is controlling your life. The dream may be expressing your over-dependence and lack of control. Car Dream Meaning Mystical Meaning: The ancients didn't have cars but they did have carts and the meaning is much the same. One source claims that to ride a vehicle is a sign that there will be changes at home or in business. If your mode of transport is broken then news from a friend tells of trouble. Numbers Dream Meaning Psychological Meaning: Numbers and their corresponding geometric shapes often occur in dreams. They can represent stages of spiritual growth and archetypal energies of the collective unconscious. ZERO: Zero represents the unmanifest void. It is the ineffable vastness of space that is infinite and timeless. Its symbol is the circle, the perfect mandala. ONE: One is the number that initiates action. It may represent the source of life or oneness of all creation. Its associated shape is a point. TWO: Two represents diversity. It is the number of duality and divine symmetry. It represents the union of opposites such as male and female, mother father, yin and yang or heaven and earth. THREE: Considered by the ancient Greeks to be the perfect number, three represents the union of body mind and spirit. Its shape is the triangle, which may represent the creative force. Three can also symbolise the Holy Trinity. FOUR: Symbolised by the square, four is the number of stability and harmony. It may also relate to the four seasons, the four elements, and Jung’s four mental functions of thought, feeling, sense and intuition. FIVE: Five represents the link between the heavens and the earth. Its symbol is the five-pointed pentagram. SIX: Six symbolises inner harmony and perfection. It may be represented by a hexagram or the six pointed Star of David SEVEN: Seven is the symbol of completeness-an idea originating from the belief that the world was created in seven days. It was believed that the soul renewed itself every seven years and hence the belief that to break a mirror will bring seven years bad luck, as mirrors are a reflection of the soul. EIGHT: The Chinese believe that eight is very lucky and brings great good fortune. It can represent regeneration and new beginnings. NINE: In India, this is the number of God and the yogi who will leave the wheel of birth and death. In the West, it is also considered to be the number of eternity.TEN: As there are Ten Commandments the number ten was considered the number of the law Mystical Meaning: Numerology is the study of the mystical meaning of numbers. Originally based upon the Greek alphabet it attributed a number to each letter so that words and names could be studied for their mystical meaning. For example, holy books such as the Bible and Torah are full of numerological references. When the numerical equivalents of a person’s name or birth-date are added together the numbers obtained can tell a great deal about their character, qualities, skills and destiny. The art of numerology has sometimes been applied to dreams to obtain information about the future. The human qualities associated with each name number are: 1. Initiation. 2. Attractiveness. 3. Communicator. 4. Homemaker 5. Experience. 6. Calmness. 7. Philosopher. 8. Business. 9. Freedom. courtesy of http://www.dreamsleep.net/ Very interesting site.

It's Over (whhuu up!!!)

2008-06-15T01:34:00.000-07:00

Mark this day 15th of June 2008... My first taste of sweet liberty!!!

5 months and 17 days
169 days
4056 hours
243360 minutes
14601600 seconds

It could have been shorter if I hadn't been that stubborn. 3 days of self assesment gave me an answer to the question I've been avoiding for months. Refusal to reality is a slow motion suicide. It felt lighter but not necessarily good, it kinda sucks actually, but what the hell? what happend really sucks, I cannot twist that fact. At least my excess baggage is tons lighter now. which is a good thing. Just need to fix things that I screwed up and I'll be on the go once again. I hope its sooner more than later.

After everything that had happen and everything that's currently on going... It's hard not to put a mask on so as not to ruin the good vibe. I just miss genuinely smile and laugh again.

Lladro for Sale

2008-05-22T23:42:00.000-07:00

Call me art dumb dumb but never did I ever appreciate an expensive piece popularly known as lladro. I find them so sad and gloomy. I do appreciate swarovksi crystal miniatures and English porcelain dolls but not lladro. In this light, I would love to sell our lladro piece and turn it into liquid. It's more practical that way rather than keep it here. This could probably a missing piece of a whole collection so I might as well sell it right?

Another thing, pardon my ignorance but I really don't know how much this piece cost. I guess I have to research on this further so as of the moment, the price is negotiable. Calling all collectors, just drop me a message.

Hassles of Anticipation

2008-05-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what's the worst thing that messes your head? Years ago I thought it was hope, probably because I embraced what The Architect said in the Matrix. "Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness." But then came "The Secret", the hope factor was totally diverted in the positive spectrum that made the word a step towards your aspirations. The whole negative concept of the word "hope" was totally eradicated. which is actually a good thing. If your hopeful, then you're positive.

Now I that I've outgrown the Matrix fever, there's should always be a thing that messes up your thoughts. (or probably its just me because I'm a self confessed nuts) I thought of anticipation. Wikipedia defined it as an emotion involving pleasure in considering some expected or longed-for good event, or irritation at having to wait. Anticipation is neutral, fence-sitter, a gray word! And I f*&$%ing hate this word! What makes it worse? is that you have no idea what to look out for. It could be an answer, It could be a turning point event, It could be realization, It could be a religion, confirmation, yada yada yada It could be anything!

For someone so impatient as Moi! Anticipaction is the suckiest state ever. It's not the lowest point of my life but being in the position of uncertainty that can take some time automates the clock of the bomb inside me. Being in this state makes me shout to the world to just shoot me.

So how to retaliate? You can't! You know why? because it pays to wait. to stay put and wait for the event to happen. for things to iron up, for bombs to burst. When? I don't f@$^%ing know. BUSTA it will happen. BUSTA? it's not even a concrete statement. I can't even define that very irritating word. It's an answer without supporting statement. An answer that doesn't even answers the question on hand.

Anticipation makes me nuts...as in intense insanity attack!

And I'm Back

2008-05-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'm back! After years of abandoning me very own blog. Believe it or not I've been trying to hack my own blog?!?!? As crazy as it may sound, but its the reality. I guess its because of unhealthy lifestyle = Memory loss? memory gap(both short and long term) HA! but there's this one thing about my memory that I use as a tool in battling with realms and qualms.. and the very powerful and ever famous and my personal favorite SELECTIVE MEMORY. But this is beside my point.

Anyway, good thing I got it back and its mine mine mine! (As if anyone would want to steal this page from me). I was successful in getting it back only to find out that the email I used to register this was may oldest email. I just got panicky when I saw that Blogger is tied up with Gmail already, so I insisted in using my Gmail account to get in but it failed repetitively, trying to mess with the bitchy technology, then I went on and on, I finally decided to give up the gmail addie and started reading the letters in red and the VOILA! I'm in.

Lesson of the story, don't mess with technology, remember passwords, (I'm just not sure if its actually proper to propose 1 password rule?) It pays to read those red letter notes because its the key in solving your techie shitloads! Booyah!

coke...

2005-04-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

My days have been rainy… and dilim dilim tas ang gulo gulo ng mundo… though i try my best to keep things in there place, i even started using my planner again to keep track, but still can't see anything, can't feel anything.. feel so exhausted, feel so naked, feel so helpless, feel so alone. i'm so tired, i'm so harassed, feel so empty, feel like trash. i hate feeling scared. i hate the world, i hate myself, don't have anything.. i need you...

what love means for babies

2005-03-25T20:56:00.000-08:00

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" here's what they got:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy ar like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily-age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friend even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." MaryAnn - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

it's really amazing! kids can give the broadest and the deepest meaning of what love is... cute! how i wish when they grow up they can still define love the way they defined it at their age.. i doubt it though... grown ups talk deep shits! hahaha... la lang!

people my age, they don't know what love is... love for them is grabbing everything, getting what they want, all they care is i, me, myself... my way, my time, my decision, my choice... my my my my my.. sometimes when things go out smoothly, they just invent things so that they have the reason to pick a fight.. where's the love here? hell they care.. they just want to entertainment out of their own stories. of course the writer will always be the protagnist...

another thing about grown ups, they don't value the meaning of sorry, they don't see the gravity of saying bye... what more when the word "love" enters the picture...

how i wish they were kids again.. maybe then they could be worth loving... sigh..

mahiya kayo sa bata.. enuf said

gulo ng mundo

2005-03-20T04:26:00.000-08:00

you can't have everything
you can't have all the time
you can't please everybody
things don't go out the way you want it to be
your best ain't enough
changing for good makes it worse for the majority

sunog! sunog! sunog!

i saw these lines wrutten in a small piece of green paper on top of my table wondering why my brother placed it there. i'm not even sure it was my brothers' but it did hit me at some point...

struggles of life... yun lang bow!

faceanalyzer

2005-03-20T03:49:00.000-08:00

haaay! it's been a while since i last logged on my pc for internet, i've formatted this trash twice already and hopefully things will go on smooth sailing... i checked my friendster and i saw this site where you can have you face analyze... trips lang hahaha
here's the result!
Race Analysis
Race Analysis Explained
100%
South East Asian
0%
East Indian
0%
Middle Eastern
0%
Eastern European
0%
Southern European
0%
Anglo Saxon
0%
Korean/Japanese
0%
Chinese

Gender: FEMALE
Personality Profile
Rank
Click here to see your celebmatch.
Intelligence
6.9
Very Intelligent

Risk
2.2

Very Low Risk
Ambition
6.0
Average Ambition

Gay Factor
1.0
Very Low Gay Factor

Honor
4.1
Average Honor

Politeness
8.8
High Politeness

Income
6.9
$50,000 - $100,000

Sociability
6.1
Average Sociability

Promiscuity
1.2
Very Unpromiscuous

YOUR ARCHETYPE:
Personality Profile:You have social courage and as a consequence are open and extroverted. You are seen as a well known person who is liked and is involved in many social events. You feel confident about your position in social situations and will not hesitate to say what you believe. You do not like too much responsibility, but you do not mind being in the social center. You must know everything that is going on in your greater social circle and spend a lot of time talking to others to find out the latest gossip. You tend to be friendly, but can be criticizing when you see others as thinking of themselves too much. You prefer to work in challenging people oriented jobs where you can compete against others and rise in the ranks. Others usually like you but can sometimes be intimidated by your outspoken comments and criticisms although they do not show it. People tend to feel comfortable around you and respect your opinion. You can use this social weight to get things done for you but usually opt not to call in favours people owe you. Your view of other types You tend to like Boss types and try to get close to them, as they possess the intimidating factor and confrontational attitude that you lack. You regard Academic Types as mostly withdrawn from life and too uppity to interact with. You associate with some Blue collar and White collar types, and find that these are the people that mostly want to hang around you. You see Artist types as attention seekers and are often the person to criticize them. For this reason, Artist types envy and fear you. You may enjoy the risk taking personality of Gambler types, but you also think that they are loners. You see Drifter types as social dropouts. Other types' view of you Boss types like you but they dont always trust you. Academic Types have very little in common with you, therefore they avoid you. Artist types tend to avoid you because you may attack them verbally due to their personality differences. White and Blue collar types like interacting with you, and they sometimes envy your charisma. Gambler types may deal with you if they think that you have something useful to offer them. Drifter types may associate with you, but they generally believe that your archetype is stuck up. Alpha Charmer: -More ambitious than Charmer Expected Occupations: Corporate Executive, Real Estate Agent, Politician Charmer: -More fun-loving than Alpha Charmer Expected Occupations: Sales representative, Teacher, Aesthetician, Hair Stylist, Artist, Actor, Social Worker, Manager

try it out! it's interesting!

tamad

2005-03-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

feel sooo tamad today. its lunch time now and i'm thinking of.... yum yum stroganoff. kebab. baked tahong. tempura. shoyu ramen with layu. isaw. balot. crabs. lobster. aligue. dampa. shawarma. sugpo. siomai. lechon kawali. bicol express. sinigang. sisig. chicken curry. satay. ferrero. crunch. malteasers. mangga with bagoong. chili sauce. pizza. i'm in e-class with norah jones background music.. coolness prof.. hahahahahaha... the red bull kinda made me speeding today.. thanks to tinang! hahahaha.. i'm gonna take my lunch now! mwah! buh bye.. and btw.. watch hitch it's really really funny!

being professional and personal

2005-03-06T20:40:00.000-08:00

if you know you did something right, you shouldn't be having this guilt feeling.. our prof shared his sentiments about firing his friend. la lang.. personal versus professional.. its really hard to execute such decision that will make you hate yourself, i've done much of these and i must say i'm not happy even though i did some shits for a purpose, well life is unfair, i gues i must deal with it.. we can't run away from these instances, lalo na if your in the position. just spoke my mind.

fire drill

2005-03-05T01:09:00.000-08:00

yesterday, we had this fire drill in school and it was extremely funny, students are not taking the drill seriouosly to think that it was a criteria for paascu accreditation. even teachers were not that seriuos in participating because their classes were disturbed..most students are taking pictures, making kuwento to classmates, yelling to long lost friends etc.. my friends were spotting freshmen, some thought of making the drill into a serious case. (they want to make a history) but there was less time. my friends and i thought of making "chani" the framed poster about benilde..every classroom has that poster and it was placed there about less than a week. like the one in DLSU - christian achievers for God and country, but then again, there was time constraint.. at least we did observe something incase of a fire.. "don't panic".. because of the fire drill manang got her quota in selling yosi in half a day, the school made sound and smoke effects.. ay sorry! mas mausok pa sa chowking after that funny drill! sunog! before the drill my prof in comsk2 was sharing her sentiments about teaching in benilde, she got really culture shocked etc.. tapos.. the drill happend during her period..and lalo pa sha macu-culture shock! hehehehe la lang!

Insocio

2005-03-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

i'm here in my Insocio class blogging.. just felt like i need to write something. he's discussing about contentment and earning for a living. God! i need to graduate soon.. doing something you like, earning for survival. just hate it when you're problem is something inorganic/ non-living small piece of shit! "money!". fuck! its soo powerful. now i'm beginning to understand why many people are crazy about it, people are manipulated by this paper. arrrrgggggh! it's fucking hard to be daga! greatness i have my cousin to lend me some and he's gonna get my money from my ex. at least i have my freedom now. just hate it when it's being equated from money. this is what i want to in the first place and it's really really hard. i still have a month and a half, then after that, i'm part of the unemployment rate of the philippines. wish i could get a good job to support me and i must admit that i'm really really scared to get into that world. next level na toh! it's funny cause just finished my journal here in insocio about the "contractualization" issue and it's all about money again!!!! money money money! fuck that stuff! but i need it.. ganito pala yun!

On the Rox

2005-02-28T17:07:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, we went to a gig in Centro at Libis. It was an acoustic competition and three of the bands there were our friends. But of course my major bet during the competition was technicolored musketeers where 3 of my barkadas are in (coycoy, gino and alex). Unfortunately, they didn’t get any place. My second bet was glint. Participated by Mitch (my tapat baby) and Prijm kwany kwany (my COS batch mate). I do admire their vocalist, she’s very familiar because one of my barkada has been spotting her for years and I really find her pretty. Most of my barkada are guys and most of them do divulge their crushes to me. Anyways... I love the song they played. No Rain by Blind Melon. It was one of my favorite songs. Too bad they didn’t get any place also. Of course, my third choice was Maranata, the band who won that night, Karla’s friend, Mike was part of the band and it was funny because three days prior to the gig I was warning him in defense of my friends. hehehehehe but they won... ayon... sunog ako. I made major ligaw to Sean to come with me to the gig, he’s really HARD to please him but eventually, I got what I want hehehehe! Kaboom! The night was fun. Everyone was there and the music was my kind of music. There were 6 of us who went to the gig, Karla, Tong, Chenes, Gail, Sean and moi! We went to Dino’s place to ask if he has video cam but he wasn’t around... ngiar... then we had dinner somewhere in Pasig where they serve great foods and the price was pretty affordable. (Tin and Marco) the luvbirds were there d’boys and block7 girls were also there... great night, great music. Enough said.

Retreat ito!

2005-02-28T17:05:00.000-08:00

I woke up late, our call time at the CSB chapel was 8:30 and guess what time did I wake up? 8:30... haaay!!! I’m sooo NOT a morning person, I think because the drastic night and the beer have something to do with me being late... Marathon to the max! I arrived in school around 9:30 and luckily they’re still there. I was kinda chillax because Sean told me that there’ll be a mass before we leave... kaya yun! We departed around 10:30 and we reached Tagaytay around 11:30. The travel time was pretty fast so bitin tulog ko... grrr.. I was really sabaw that morning because firstly, I haven’t had enough sleep, second, due to some shits in life that boggled my mind all night and third, just felt tamad.. yun lang.. But the retreat was really fun. My classmate in Cathwor who annoys me that much was there... all the girls were so excited to shotgun for their places and it ended up that Tin and I didn’t have our own bed. Kuya Edyn placed us in an exclusive room where me, tin and Nicole shared. We have our own bathroom and the best part was of course, we have our own privacy away from the strangers. We were the biggest group there, and also the biggest yosi group also... the day was boring, maybe because “holiness” is our topic but I have no choice but to live with it during that time. Our fun time moments were during our breaks... Picture takings, Kupalan, Hiritan, funny stunts by bul2 and MMS porn watching. After that back to the preaching sessions. Hindi ko kinaya! I told Tin that I’ll sleep for a while. I slept around 3pm and I just went back to the circulation during the candle session. Coast was clear! I wasn’t caught heheheh! I must admit I did learn from it... it was fun. Bonding moments. I missed Tin, we haven’t had much bonding times anymore due to broken schedules and its just funny that other people put meaning to that. Hahahahaha pathetic assfucks! We arrived in school around 11. that’s it!

i can't sleep

2005-02-21T04:38:00.000-08:00

its 4:05 am and i can't sleep.. haaay! i'll start my diet today! no rice, 2 liters of water and no softdrinks.. hope i can live with it for the next seven days.. 14 days.. 21 days.. then it'll become a habit! how i wish! goodluck! hahahahaha.. my mind is blank! actually it really works fast right this very moment its just that i can't contextualize my thoughts. oh well.. need to attend my aesthet class today.. i'm always absent in her class.. for the very plain reason that it starts at 8:10 am... i am soo not a morning person! why the hell did i get this schedule? because its the one that fits my schedule.. grrrr..

kill bill list for 3rd term

2005-02-20T14:20:00.000-08:00

last valentines day, thought of making my kill bill list for this term becuase it seems that flowers made my mood a bit morbid then i started thinking of fabulous ways on how to execute the following: hahahahha!

1. boy pangit feeling guy in aesthet! he made a scene during our first week of class.. yuck

2. taekwondo puny-brained assfuck creep! in Coms2R. very principled guy who always asks stupid questions dropping hirits out of nowhere that made him really look stupid in class. keeps on insisting that what he is doing is correct the the professor is wrong.. pathetic!

3. Tuesday in "adam's family" after 10 accidents. "know-it-all' enthusiastic bitch keeps on recititing about her own thought and ideas even if its not being asked. and really i think her IQ is below sea level because out of 100 things she said, 99 of those are really senseless.

4. lady boar in chowking, mass-looking fat bitch with intensely dark knees and elbows. if it was the tint of the the car, i say it'll be double black 3M tint!

5. friendster stalker, hallway stalker, M4th floor stalker, elevator stalker, chowking stalker, gay-looking guy who claims to be "print-ad model" i think he's using likas papaya.

6. spinach-hair guy in Natsc13. science freak! i think he took grade 2 thrice.

7. clssmate in cathwor who kept dropping hirits when chippy and me are noisy.

8. smiling face guy in cathwor with a large map of never never land on his face and his voice is really really low as in tenor low.

9. ms. lisp dlsu-main

10. ms. balat dlsu-main, but i often see her in csb that makes me disgust her more.

11. natsc13 tiny head pangit.. he's so pa-cool. it looks like he got this disease, the opposite of hydrocephalus, if there's any.. plus his whore looking GF! bentong look alaike with bangs and normal size.

12. horsey horse horse girl in plato

13. group of CDA frosh bithes in Joseriz. noisy!!!!

14. chowking feeling pretty girl but.. really my yaya's prettier. me and my thesis partner find her bobita, well one of my friends confirmed that she is really bobings! most of my guy friends find her pretty but there is something scary on her features. she has the body though.. flat tummy and steady boobs and butt!...

15. king impersonator, king's midget impersonator.. king as in nina's bro.

16. chowking fresh(she's fair kasi) flat-faced guy-looking girl who kept staring at me in chowking! one time i saw her talking to #14, i think she was laughing then, she made this facial expression contracting the skin between her forehead and her nose while smiling, holy shit! it scared me to death! she looks like the character in jurassic park 1, the most suspense part, the dinosaur with the wings on its ears.. i swear exact replica.. i just hate the way she stares at me, she looks like a low-brainer bitch also like her friend. Hola! bobita! and one more thing, her body structure is quite off, she's got a long upper torso but her arms are short! big-bonned bobo bitch!

17. Rodman on a gurls built! stinky-looking bitch. faker bitch

18. Ms. ugly whole stole a block of candle in my friends office.. great bangs! it covers her unique nose!

chillax mode

2005-02-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

balot. isaw. air-con. crunch. trix. fresh milk. green mango. movies. DVD. books. bags. adobong pusit. chili sauce. la yu. hot sauce. tobasco. carramba. shrimp. prawn. lobster. baked mussels. king crab. oyter sauce. sotanghon. sisig. chicken sisig. dampa. perfume. my pillow. my bed. cotton. satin. beads. diamonds. new york. paris. tokyo. alternative. rock. jazz. ballad. ice monster. slurpy. pillows. chicken. chillis. jack's loft. behrouz. mr kebab. dosanko. une mas. armani exchange. moon. stars. shooting stars. chamomile. green tea. jasmine. lilac. orange. spa. shiatsu. acropolis. parlor. hot oil. parrafin. milk bath with rose petals. nurture spa in tagaytay. san benito farm. malteasers. ferrero. blue label. pink champagne. persian cat. bulldog. siberian huskies. black. beach. bonfire. sand. photos. sepia. crafts. seedless grapes. lolipop. moonflower. stargazer. tulips. zen. kimono. red. orange. sleep. alone.

stupid!

2005-01-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

aaaaaahhhhh! what would you do if you've done the most stupid thing in your life!!!!! aaaaahhh! crucify me! well honestly it was just as quick as a snap and just like that everything is wiped out! well ganun talaga.. pero hindi ko ginusto!!!! kasi kasi kasi aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! panu yon?! that's what you get for not thinking before acting.. actually i shared my kagagahan to my friends last night! aba natuwa ang mga gagu..i was really like that daw eversince and they find it nice coz everything about me is returning into place.. i remember one of them saying "binago mo nga yan hindi naman ikaw.. anu yan forever kang in control despite the fact na its not your nature.." pero diba.. if that attitude of mine will ruin me.. might as well bury it ayt.. ?! punyeta sunog na ko! aaaah! i'm soo confused.. well so much of that.. andyan na eh.. just expect the worst and things will get back to normal! ooooh! its said and done.. i went out last night with two of my bestEST friends.. as in we've been friends for 14 years and i just can't absorb that one of them is getting married very very soon.. isn't that stupidity also...at 22 you're getting married.. social suicide.. pero masaya sha dun eh.. well i hope she is.. i'm really the bad conscience when it comes to giving advice because i really stress out things that's happening in reality.. i just hate it when i asked my friend if there was ever a chance when she asked for extention because she needs to enjoy more her being single.. the guy answered: "ano pa bang saya kailangan mong maranasan?" AS IF!!!! no one! as in no one! can supply all the happiness to one person.. no one has the ability to make one complete.. hindi lang ikaw ang tao sa mundo.. and hindi lang ikaw ang kailanganng maging mundo! selfish assfuck! and personally i don't expect someone to make me feel complete.. make things alright is a more preferable term but making ones life complete is not feasible..simple lang naman eh.. how can you feel complete with someone when you alone cannot make yourself complete..cge nga? wala namang ganyunan sir... it's not fair.. what was he like when he's 22 huh? well he's turning 30 and my friends is just turning 22 two weeks from now.. he had his time then.. can he at least give my friend more time to experience her singlehood.. fair naman yun eh! and besides guys don't run after time biologically speaking.. eh girls nga its risky for them to bear a kid when they reach the age of thirty.. o! lets say you graduated 20.. there's how many? 6-8 years for you to build your own career.. do the things you want to do for yourself alone.. be stable with your own money.. fucking A! that's too short actually life is too short for me sa dami ng gusto kong gawin..unless your dream is just to be a plain housewife.. wel i know my friend.. bata pa lang kami tarantado na yun! as in! then cnabi nya samin kagabi.. "ndi ba kayo masaya na binago nya ko...?" punyeta wala namang mali sa kanya eh..she thinks that she wasn't fine being her kaya kailangan nyang magbago totaly.. adjustment is fine.. you need that to compliment each other pero drastic change my God naman! how selfish can he get! look fo someone who matches his criteria.. hindi yung magbabago sha ng tao.. unfair yun.. he never gave my friend a chance to at least have her own identity.. i want to save her.. pero its too late.. reservations are made and the date is fixed..

random thoughts about languages...

2005-01-09T04:12:00.000-08:00

i changed my "describe yourself" section in friendster.. wala lang, just thought of writing in spanish again.. gosh! i miss spanish, i miss instituto, i just love learning spanish i don't understand why, i find the language sophisticated and classic. it's the 3rd widely spoken language all over the world..1st is mandarin then 2nd is english..i regret why i didn't take my mandarin seriously, well i know how to speak and write and understand but the intonation.. ginagago namen sa school. we don't say the correct pronunciation cause only geekies do that in school. we call them g.i. pero sayang.. my chinese sucks in chiang kai but compare to other chinese schools, i speak better and i know more words...hasa kami sa chekwa sa school. i wanna learn french then german. my prof told me that if i master spanish i can easily learn euro languages because the conjugations and the patterns are the same. i wanna learn thai also because you can speak 7 asian languages if you know thai. galing noh? as if i can talk to all the people around the globe.. la lang, asset yun.. parang sa alias.. galeng! well at least i know how to speak the top three widely spoken languges... i feel so blessed. oh! i remembered my cousin, she's working at ICT call center in ortigas and she told me that she had this chinese customer who doesn't know how to speak in english, basic lang as in yes no lang, she shouted "fabulous" and taught the stupid chinese to always say yes before she record their conversation, ayun nabentahan ng platinum credit card. bobo amputah! shempre there's no backing out documented na yung conversation eh.. see.. language is so damn powerful! yesterday i was waatching Y speak and the topic is about carabao english vs. correct english.. i remember jon santos reiterrating about elevating his responsibility from entertainer to lecturer.. for me, mass media really plays a very big part in influencing people so might as well disseminate the correct one. sayang eh! they're in our television screens and highly paid and what i felt when he said that is he's refusing a heavier responsibility, bayad ka ng malaki, edi shoulder the responsibility. wala lang.. review what uncle ben said to spidy man! with great power comes great responsibility...

oh! by the way.. this is what i wrote in my "About Me:" in friendster..

Adoro la luna.. él completa mi noche. mis funciones de cerebro bien cuando hay la luna y yo me siento seguro yo no sé por qué. reflejo en la vida las ideas más profundas y brillantes sale apenas naturalmente. quizá esto explica por qué yo no soy una persona de la mañana.
Soy un pensador libre y yo siempre encuentro la lógica todo, para adorar la lectura, haciendo surf la internet, la música, las películas y el alcohol!
quiero karl de marx y un activista verdadero de blooded. la política del amor, las matemáticas, la literatura, la historia y la psicología. yo siempre digo lo que quiero y obtengo lo que quiero. personas dicen que soy mocoso, bien ellos son en parte correctos pero realmente aprendo a ser más madura.
Busco para el amor incondicional. pero yo realmente no creo en tan. la mayor parte del tiempo yo me siento solo por eso yo siempre me sujeto para trabajar para que tiempo vuele más rápido. soy el anhelo de alguien que undestands mí y que tendrá el esfuerzo de saber mi lado profundo porque nadie ha alcanzado jamás ese punto.
Yo me adoro más que cualquiera en este mundo. adivino hay nada malo con eso. personas piensan que soy duro pero honestamente, las cargas obtenidas del temor. acabo de esperar para alguien asegurar mí que todo será fino.

freak na ito!

2005-01-03T04:25:00.000-08:00

First day of class!!! I felt like a freak! I was on time and I didn’t skip any of my classes for the day… This is so not me. At least I exerted effort to be disciplined in this certain aspect… coolness! Or should I say, eeiiww?! Hahaha… but really I felt odd, not only for being prompt or what so ever but the schedule… I’m definitely not a morning person, my friends know that. That is why by 2pm I’m quite low bat coz usually around that time my energy level is at its peak. First class, my teacher was a “gay” kind of girl which I find pretty cool. Second class was one of my “dead-kid” panel during my thesis defense that made our lives (me and my partner) hell. Though I heard even if you don’t attend his class you’ll get a grade of at least 3.5, but duh?! As if everybody’s around at 9:20 in the morning… guess I got no choice but to sit in his class. Well at least I have time to sleep, strike anywhere naman ako eh.. pwede na dun!!! Third was hell! Imagine our professor asked us to bring, 1.) manila paper 2.) pentel pen 4.) 3 holed ring binder (8.5”*11”) for notes and take note! She has her own format on how notes should be taken! Like you have to divide them into three parts and the worst that really stressed me for a moment was the box of that stupid index card!!! Like the one you see in the office, ah! The one where the cards are placed in the low-tech libraries, that wooden crap! We have to bring that! Back pack na toh!!! Kulang na lang crayons, scissors, paste and 12-inch ruler wooden and plastic… punyeta diba?! The rest was steady, oh! I have a teacher with lisp, hahahaha!!! Here I go again! And she finds it very comfortable using words with “s”, magtagalog na lang sha men! Damn! My last class was funny!!! Cathwor, it’s like relsfor in main, he’s a priest and he told us “I encourage you to commit mistakes” “embrace temptations..” and he’s introductory question is “Ikaw!, (not to me.. of course) nagse-sex pa ba lolo’t lola mo?!” siguro ikaw na yung tumutulak kasi ndi na kaya ng lolo mo! Kulang nalang i-encourage nya buong class mag-orgy eh! Abnormal! Well I saw vil, joem, karla, Y! he’s here, he went down for transcript I guess.. kassy, tinang, marco, paulo, almost everyone except for those who graduated already.. my 1st 4 classes, my kilala ko.. the rest la na.. but I hate 1st day of classes.. ewan ko.. for my whole 5 years in college, this is my 3rd time to attend 1st day and walang mintis! When it comes to recitation, parati nalang ako.. ako ako puro nalang ako.. hehehehe!!! Bad trip! I made some experimentations, I sat at the back, huli! in front, huli paren! At the middle, huli parin. Goshness! Weird noh?! The day was quite stressful, my body dropped! But I guess this is the best time for me to practice my being “early-person” or else yare ako! Sakit sa ulo, sakit sa batok! High blood na ito! This is the aftermath of my being “buraot kumain” during the break… got tired, was in school from 8am-6pm straight! Haaaay! Yun lang..

resolutions 2005...

2004-12-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

can't help to watch tv shows that features lucky stuffs for 2005...kaboom nanaman si joy lim of charms and crystals.. she'll be the luckiest becuase for sure she'll got loads of orders..hahahaha..

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new year's resolutions...

whereas, .... joke!

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1. D. discipline..i badly need this one oh! f*@#!? ang hirap lang talaga punyeta! but this is the CORE!!! aaaarrrrgh!

2. eat healthy foods as in fruits and veggies...well i have this principle that veggies are STRICTLY for insects and dinosaurs.. well i need to bend it for health sake?! wah! ="(

3. need to work out because got beer belly and huge puson! i'm great in hiding it! hahahaha.. bora bora bora!

4. quit smoking! got chest pains na.. but i really want to reach ben's experience wherein he just didn't feel the passion eventually.. but i think it'll take me years to get that feeling.. when my lungs are all f&#@ed up!

5. h2O. two atoms of hydrogen and 1 atom of oxygen arrrgh! i hardly finish 3 glasses of water a day.. need hydro therapy..

6. need to take my medications RELIGIOUSLY!!! i want to be able to bear at least 1 kid! goshness!! and i might die any time soon.. and my cardio will kill me for not following her..

7. save.. i'm really magastos.. i don't even know where my money is goin.. lalo na now.. i don't want to be such a pain in the ass to my father when i gradute..which is most likely to happen according to him... well expected na nya.. hope it won't take that long.. hahahaha concern amputah! mature na toh!

8. quit cramming! i must admit i do best when cramming but.. the hell?! so much time is wasted and i'm not getting any younger.. i'll be 22 this 2005!

9. promptness!!! i must learn to be a morning person.. i'm always late.. love sleeping and i always extend for 5 mins and for all i know, an hour has passed

10. temper.. keep it low, keep it low.. blood pressure..160/90 at my age is NOT normal!!!

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follow ups pag meron ciao!

easy money...

2004-12-29T20:47:00.000-08:00

gambling.. haaay!!!! it is sooo addictive! easy money.. yah! i must say that.. well i'm pretty lucky when it comes to gambling but really you have to get hold of yourself or else you'll get hooked and before you know it?! your in deep shit.. so as you have the money to play and just do it for fun and not to aim something you won't get hook easily.. wanting more is a great no no in gambling.. greed is your greatest enemy in this field. and you should befriend regrets other wise you'll feel all bullshit after everything. be shallow and you'll sort of enjoy playing.. it's yearend now and i never did expect i could go back to gambling.. but luckily, were up! and now.. i really don't know when to stop because all the luck is on us! but i'm not really aiming for a certain digits.. but what if i'm the lucky charm? in my feng shui, i do have luck in gambling.. i don't wanna spoil our moment with my friends if eventually i'll just quit.. (well everything is a matter of choice..) before we go down to zero. sayang eh! i've never been negative in my whole gambling life but i am aware that there will come a time that everything will be all down to zero.. and i hate regrets.. la lang just spoke my mind. it's really hard to get contented but i guess i must learn that as early as now before things get messy.. there will be lots of i could've's' and i should've's'.. and i hate that scene.. haaay.. well that's it!

kagulo..

2004-12-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

betamethasome is a very powerful chemical used as anti-inflamatory, but wait! it shouldn't be applied when you have breakouts cause it can lead to a much complicated case called acne vulgaris and acne comedones.. coolness! knowledge.. hahaha...i'm soo excited to go to boracay this summer.. mas excited pa ko dun as compared to graduation..wierd noh? but honestly.. yuh! wasn't able to enjoy last summer cause i had some issues then.. hahaha bad trip! that's why i spent most of my time at the place where we stayed and natutulog lang ako every night.. i enjoyed the beach though.. i swear! this summer.. i'll make the most out of it man! i swear! taga nyo pa sa granite! spend the whole day with karla and tonight we are going to pier 1 for the salubong of her birthday! greatness! it's also a sizzling barkada reunion/xmas party/ basagan/ laglagan/ kupalan/whatever..yun lang..well kagulo na ako.. i have nothing to share na.

sick people...

2004-12-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

hay.. got so windang last night i don't know what's up with me.. i'm not usually like that.. of course i know my self better but things are quite different and even moi?! i can't explain it..there are lots of things that are spontaneously coming into my mind but i'm aware i'm just making those things up.. isn't it wierd, you are aware that you're doing something that willl make you look and feel stupid about yourself and still it just happens naturally! without any external influence but it was brought about by something inorganic..aaahh!!! don't want to elaborate.. because of that.. i slept around 4am.. waiting for the simbang gabi.. tanga! mamaya pa pala.. see how windang i am? oh well this one is pretty light to share.. hehehe last night i was slouching in front of the TV watching friends my phone beeped got a message form an unknown number asking "kaw ba si Bianca tan?" i replied "hus dis?" followed by "ndi.." consecutively without waiting for the next message.. well he did reply to my 1st message saying he's some guy from school who has crush on me.. (pakonyo bigla amputah!) then the next message was "cgurado ka? ndi kaw si Bianca tan? sori ah" well daming stupid sa mundo.. they're like gremlins.. they multiply when water strikes! i was really not in a good mood but not that bad vibes because really, i'm making my own issue that's why last night i was really extra maingay, i shared this text incident to my brother and we laughed like hell.. pa-cool was the term of ahia.. hehehehe but come to think of it.. isn't it irritating?! well i do ask hus dis for unknown numbers because i have this habit of erasing numbers especially when we're not that close, and you know that they just text because they need something from you or information like "may pasok ba?" stuffs like that..and for the major reason that my phonebook is nearly full. its perfectly fine if you happen to know the person, kakahiya nga minsan kasi you don't store their number..pero for someone you don't know and sends you something like that.. its pathetic!!! and what's more irritating is the person who gave your number to that moron.. sana naman whoever that person is has the decency to ask me if its ok for him/her to give out my number.. well i don't think i know the person also because if he/she is my friend..they would know that i don't entertain such bullshit! and the fact that my name to the moron texter is Bianca, his source must be someone i really don't know.. hahaha sick people...

sex and the city quiz..

2004-12-14T19:04:00.000-08:00

i checked my mail and a friend of mine sent me this address

http://quiz.ivillage.com/astrology/tests/sexandthecity.htm: sex and the city quiz, and i scored carrie, just what i expected. even though i would want to be charlotte because i find her the prettiest and goody good girl.. well lalabas at lalabas din ang totoo.. and you can't do anything about it.. feel so lazy to the point that i literally answer online quizzes! boring.. have all the right to bum around since i our vacation starts today.. oh well here's the result..

Sex and the City: The Four Women, the Four Elements Your results are based on the four Elements of Astrology: Fire, Earth, Air and Water. Each Element has its own set of characteristics, and each of us displays some combination thereof, usually with a focus on one or two. Samantha, Miranda, Carrie and Charlotte each personify one of the Elements and its basic traits. Which Elements most strongly influence you?
**********************
Note: Scores are rounded to one decimal place and therefore may not total 100%

You scored 80% Carrie
Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr. Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.

You scored 20% Miranda
You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign-like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Just like Miranda's had a tough time deciding whether to give in to the affections of Steve the Bartender, you don't give your heart up to just anyone. Miranda shies away from a relationship with Steve because he's 'just' a bartender, not something more conventionally ambitious or stable. Those with powerful Earth Sign qualities -- characteristics associated with Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn -- are cautious in love and seek stability and status over nearly anything else. Earth Signs provide a steady, realistic attitude and they can bring order out of chaos. A little-known Earth Sign fact: Incredibly sensual, you seethe beneath that smart, expensive business suit of yours, yearning for intimacy but hesitant to give up your material needs, your career ambitions or your responsibilities for a passionate moment that might not turn out the way you'd hope.

You scored 0% Samantha
You identify with Samantha's bold and liberated Fire Sign qualities, characteristics associated with the Signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. You're strong, audacious and larger than life -- and you take what you want! Sometimes you can even be thoughtless and selfish, as you get so caught up in craving immediate gratification and excitement that you overlook someone's feelings. Your personal style likely reflects your desires: sleek, low-cut, revealing just a bit more than might be considered acceptable. Watch that you're not coming on too strong, though. You could scare potential suitors off with all your drama. If you seek so much attention, the more basic qualities of the Fire Signs could be burned right out of the picture. Show less skin or cleavage and more of your creativity, your vibrant leadership skills and courageous generosity!

You scored 0% Charlotte
A romantic at heart, you chose the answers that demure Charlotte may have chosen. Strongly influenced by the intuitive, profound and sometimes naïve Water Signs -- Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces -- you're like a mother, a mystery and a poet all in one. Though on the surface you may seem innocent and all about seeking the good in people, beneath the surface, you hide secret yearnings for intimacy, for attachment and ideal love. You're seeking a knight in shining armor, a soul mate, someone who will complete you and tether you to the earth when you get carried away with your fantasies. You're super-sensitive, soaking up the moods of others; you emote freely, crying at commercials and sappy movies. You also provide a shoulder to cry on and open arms for hugs. Be careful that you're not so wide-eyed and trusting that you get taken in by some cunning wolf in sheep's clothing.

what girls really mean when they say...

2004-12-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

of course we have our own version of this to keep the balance.. kala nyo ha.. i admit i'm guilty of dropping selected lines hehehehe.. well ganun talaga..

They say: Can't we just be friends?
They mean: There is no way in hell I am ever gonna let any part of your body touch mine again
They say: I just need some space
They mean: Yea, space without you in it
They say: Can you help me with my homework?
They mean: If I keep whining the fool will do it for me
They say: Do I look fat in this dress?
They mean: We haven't had a fight in awhile
They say: No, pizza's fine
They mean: Cheap bastard
They say: I just don't want a BF right now
They mean: I just don't want you as a BF
They say: I dunno; what do you wanna do?
They mean: I can't believe you don't have anything planned
They say: Come here
They mean: My puppy does this too
They say: I like you but...
They mean: I just don't like you
They say: You never listen
They mean: You never listen!
They say: We're moving too quickly
They mean: I won't sleep with you til I find out if this guy in Bio has a GF or not
They say: I'll be ready in a minute
They mean: I AM ready, but I'm gonna make you wait cuz I know you will
They say: Oh no, I'll pay for myself
They mean: I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch
They say: Oh yes! Right there!
They mean: Well, near there; I just wanna get this over with
They say: I'm just goin out with the girls
They mean: We're gonna go out and make fun of you and your friends
They say: There's no one else
They mean: I'm doing your brother
They say: Size doesn't count...
They mean: Unless I want an orgasm

what guys really mean when they say...

2004-12-13T21:34:00.000-08:00

got this from a certain site.. well i guess we all know that guys don't really mean what they say.. here are some certain lines that you cross over once in a while from a guy.. funny but true..hahaha

'It's a guy thing.'
Really means.... 'There is no rational thought pattern connected withit, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.'
'Can I help with dinner?'
Really means... 'Why isn't it already on the table?'
'Uh huh,' 'Sure, honey,' or 'Yes, dear.'
Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
'It would take too long to explain.'
Really means... 'I have no idea how it works.'
'I'm getting more exercise lately.'
Really means... 'The batteries in the remote are dead.'
'We're going to be late.'
Really means... 'Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.''Take a break, honey, you're working too hard.'
Really means....'I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.'
'That's interesting, dear.'
Really means... 'Are you still talking?'
'Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love.'
Really means... 'I forgot our anniversary again.'
'You expect too much of me.'
Really means... 'You want me to stay awake?'
'That's women's work.'
Really means... 'It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.'
'You know how bad my memory is.'
Really means... 'I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.'
'Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal.'
Really means...'I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.'
'I do help around the house.'
Really means... 'I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.'
'Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.'
Really means... 'I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.'
'I can't find it.'
Really means... 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'mcompletely clueless.'
'What did I do this time?'
Really means... 'What did you catch me doing?'
'I heard you.'
Really means... 'I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'mhoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don'tspend the next days yelling at me.'
'You look terrific.'
Really means... 'Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'mstarving.'
'I missed you.'
Really means... 'I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and weare out of toilet paper.'
'I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.'
Really means... 'I'm lost.I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again.'
'We share the housework.'
Really means... 'I make the messes, you clean them up.'
'This relationship is getting too serious.'
Really means... 'You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck.'
'I don't need to read the instructions.'
Really means... 'I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.'
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They say: It's just orange juice, try it
They mean: 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head
They say: She's kinda cute
They mean: I wanna bang her til I'm blue
They say: I dunno if I like her
They mean: She won't blow me
They say: I need youThey mean: My hand is tired
They say: I had her
They mean: I had wet dreams about her all week
They say: I really wanna get to know you better
They mean: So we can do what I tell my friends we do already
They say: How do I compare with all your other BFs?
They mean: Is my penis really that small?
They say: You're the only girl I've ever cared about
They mean: You're the only girl that hasn't rejected me
They say: I want you back
They mean: ...for tonight anyway
They say: We've been through so much together
They mean: If not for you, I never would've lost my virginity
They say: I miss you so much
They mean: I'm so horny that my roommate is starting to look good
They say: No, I don't wanna dance right now
They mean: Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on!
They say: The break-up should not start for another few hours~
They mean: I wanna have sex a few more times
They say: I'm different from all the other guys
They mean: I'm not circumcised

sabaw

2004-12-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw sabaw

commitment

2004-12-12T06:23:00.000-08:00

COMMITMENT. The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner’s. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. It is false to believe that two lovers love each other to the same degree. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him I love you and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? The greatest test of true love is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. There can be no doubting this. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves! And pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. A lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade. In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at lovers who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.

this message was sent to me years ago i think..when i'm still in my "teen stage" hahaha! to make me feel immature or whatever his intention is. but.. come to think of it, it's true, i'm not getting any younger but i feel that i'm still young to commit, well i started young.. and now i don't know how to get rid of it when you get there.. still doing the same mistake or whatever you call it.. not now.. not in a million years!!! but i always do that?! sometimes even if you refuse to,(it's a struggle within) it just comes out naturally..i think it's wrong.. well not really, it's risky, i know.. and things will happen all over again.. oh well ganun talaga.. gusto ko toh.. hehehe this goes out to all the stupid masochists!!! "pain is good" - the da vinci code

being 20 ++

2004-12-12T05:42:00.000-08:00

punyeta lang!!! got this mail few minutes ago and it did make a LOT of sense i'm goin through this stage and i don't know if i'll feel better knowing that i'm not the only one experiencing this phase but at least i'm normal.. and sober.. what more if i'm in my mid-life stage already.. just hate it when i feel insecure.. yes.. confirmed, this stage explains the insecurities you encounter.. especially with friends. the article encapsulates everything..at least my apprehensions made sense after reading this. oh well.. here it is..

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.....

listen to what i'm not saying

2004-12-12T04:04:00.000-08:00

Don't be fooled by me, don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask, thousands of mask, the mask that i am afraid to take off; and none of them was me.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water is calm and I'm in command and that I need no one. But don't believe me please.

My surface may seem smooth.. Beneath I dwell in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. But I hide this. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mood to hide behind a nonchalant sophisticated facade to shield me from the glance that knows. But such glance is my salvation and I know it.

It's the only thing that can assure me of my acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, laugh can kill me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without a trembling child within. and so my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave surface tones. I tell you everything of nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when i go into my routine, do not be fooled of what i'm saying. Please listen carefully and hear what i'm not saying.

I dislike the superficial phony game I'm playing, I'd like to be genuine, spontaneous and me, you've got to hold out your hand even if it seems to be the last thing that I seem to want or need, only you who can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand becuse you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very feeble wings.

I want you to know how important you are to me. how you can be a creator of a person that is me if you choose to. but it will not be easy for you. A long conviction and worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back. It is irrational. but despite of what the books say about man, I am irrational. I fight against the very things i cry out for but i am told love is stronger than walls, and therein lies my hope. please try to bring down those firm walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well, I am every man and woman you meet.

LAKAS noh? got this piece from my drawer, can't remember who wrote it.. thought of placing it here, well.. believe it or not, got the mood to fix my messy table, i get to be domesticated once in an while but that field alone, cleaning my desk no more no less.

good things are hard to believe

2004-12-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

come to think of it.. often times good things are hard to believe.. especially when you're the type of person without any qualms and just practically comfortable being true.. so does it equate that if you're not plastic it means that you are likely to do bad and icky stuffs? so where do you draw the line between good and bad things.. if being true isn't good at all then being untrue isn't bad..so therefore... aaahhh... don't you just hate the irony?!? i hate it!!! well actually i hate the people who thinks that way..

blank

2004-11-23T02:45:00.000-08:00

well.. this is my first blog entry, just got curious coz i think most of my friends are into this blog, well i find it pretty interesting so why not give it a try... well as of now, i have nothing much to share..its 2:30am and i think my brain is not functioning..oh i just remembered, i was having this conversation with my friend, then his neighbor sat over and joined us.. throughout our conversation, a line caught my attention.. "there's no harm in trying"..said the neighbor, just a thought.. people always say there's no harm in trying..does it always follow? of course it's a case to case basis, everything depends on a certain situation, but dropping such line in the right place and the right time must be considered and of course a brief backgroud on whom you're gonna give that certain line.. because if you were to ask me.. most of the time that line does not follow..just spoke my mind.